Loo roll is gold. That is all.
Where do you have your bog roll stored?

Locked up safe

Surrounded by the bloody stuff

I couldn't get any

In the bathroom
What best describes your weaponry situation?

Got a crossbow

Nothing - I got toilet roll instead

I'm in a bunker

I don't need weapons
Which best suits your situation?

I've watched Home Alone, I can set traps

I have pepper spray, pliers, a battery and jump leads

I'm a lover not a fighter, man

I'm totally screwed
How secure is your home?

Like Fort Knox

Good luck getting past the bog rolls and shopping bags

Standard

Nothing worth nicking